Quotes

Metal Saw (Ep. 01x02)

 * Mac: "Yeah... Not the best idea, but right now we NEED a distraction."

Mac: "I had no choice!" Jack: "You're gonna kill us before Marco does!"
 * Jack: "No one, I mean no one, likes a barfight better than me. But you just blew up half the bar with us in it!"

*Starts laughing* Mac: “What are you laughing about?” Jack: “Oh, I just realized I have terrible luck with women, man…” Both: *chuckles lightly* Jack: “What are you laughing at? You ain’t no better…” Mac: *Sighs* “Well, at least we have each other…” Jack: *Looks towards Mac* Mac: “Don’t look at me. I know how weird it sounded…” Jack: *Nods, pulls a smile, wipes away a single tear trailing down his cheek, and chuckles*
 * Jack: *looks like he’s about to break down crying as he walks after Sara Adler towards the stairs*

Riley: "Dude... It's just a hamburger..." Bozer: *looks a little offended* "Never say that... My, caramel godess... When I make it, it's edible art..." Riley: *giggles*
 * Bozer: "Now, I'm not supposed to show a civilian this, but here's how we do it at work. The secret to a perfect patty,                  is the meat mixture. If you don't get it exactly right; BURGER FAIL!"

Jack: "Thank you..." Mac: "For what?!" Jack: "For Caracas... You ehh... You really brought your A-game... In Caracas... I, I appreciate that." Mac: "You were right, man. Nikki got in my head and I need to let that go..." Jack: "Well, the good news is you don't have to go through this alone. You've got me..." *grabs the basketball out of Mac's hands* "Ain't you luckyyy!!!" *grins and points at Mac*
 * Mac: "9-8, Game point! Got anything to say before I send you to the showers?"

Jack: "Yeah-yeah, okay, yeah... Tell Bozer to brand a big-ass 'L' on Mac's burger, cause I'm gonna take this                               little boy to school, little boy!" *Pushes Mac in the shoulder* Mac: "Oh yeah, old man?" *PUNCHES Jack in the shoulder* Jack: "Ow, dude!" *Doubles over and holds his shoulder like he's in some real pain.*
 * Mac: "Yeah, we'll be in soon... Just gotta put this old man out of his missery real quick..."

Jack: *shakes his head* "No, that's not even... That's true... Actually, that's sad..."
 * Mac: *pointing at Riley* "You know... She is the closest either of us get to having a stable relationship with a                           woman..."

Awl (Ep. 01x03)
"You should’ve seen it pop            The whole building is on fire, and we jump out ass-backwards with these airbag things              We were…we were fearless.              I’m not gonna lie to you, the kid was fearless, I was scared as hell              but I ain’t gonna let him know it, y’know what I mean"
 * Jack: *Talking to his father's headstone*

Wirecutter (Ep. 01x04)
Jack: "Oh my god, he’s an old you"
 * Mac: *Looking up at the cord locking the door* "Not bad"

Wrench (Ep. 01x06)
Jack: *Startled* "Ayyy" "Aww man, if you give me a heart attack, you know what to do, right?" Mac: "Probably not."
 * Mac: *Leans over Jack's shoulder and whispers* "Slush molds."

Can Opener (Ep. 01x07)
Jack: "Wait a minute, you really have an idea, or you just tryin to get outta runnin?" Mac: "Jack! Go!" Jack: "You’re just tryin to get outta runnin!"
 * Mac: "Actually, I - I got an idea. You go!"

*beat* How are we expected to make this happen?"
 * Jack: "Yeah!... That is one of the craziest plans I’ve ever heard, and I love it!

Corkscrew (Ep. 01x08)
Mac: "I thought you were out chasing leads?" Jack: "No…No, I watch your back.          It’s my job, remember? We talked about this"
 * Jack: "What took you so long?"

Chisel (Ep. 01x09)
Terrorist: "My name is Yanis" Jack: "Oh, wait a minute, let me think" Jack: "Mm, nope, I don’t care"
 * Jack: "Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence there, Yani"

Pliers (Ep. 01x10)
Mac: "Who rented this minivan again?" Jack: "Really?"
 * Jack: "Oh my god, I’m in a car full of nerds!"

MacGyver: "What?" Jack: "These guys are expecting one driver, we’re gonna give ‘em one driver. Get out." MacGyver: "Are you sure about this?" Jack: "Eh, not really, but this way, if something goes wrong, you get to swoop in and save a damsel in distress."
 * Jack: "Ok, get out."

Mac: "This feels like home"
 * Cop(Old classmate of Mac): "Everyone’s going to jail"

Scissors (Ep. 01x11)

 * Riley Davis: [to Jack] "I’m not mad because you beat up my dad. I’m mad because you basically were my dad, closest thing I ever had…and then you just left…"

Screwdriver (Ep. 01x12)
Mac: "You too, man" Jack: "A big hug?" Mac: "We’ll save it for after the flight, alright?" Jack: "I love you buddy" Mac: "I love you too, big guy"
 * Jack: "Hey, it’s really good to see you"

Large Blade (Ep. 01x13)
Jack: "Well, I don’t know! I ain’t gonna say I love you or anything!" Mac: "Yeah, I don’t love you either"
 * Mac: "Any last words?"